The Jess

Nicknames The Jess Has Held (Other Than The Jess):

• Jess the Mess
• Poopypants

And that's about it. We've only been dating for five and a half years, gimme a break. I'll think of some new nicknames to use eventually. But seriously, Jess and I have been together for a super long time. She is currently finishing up grad school at the University of Chicago, where she'll earn her Master's in Social Service Administration (Social Work). U of C is a top 5 program, and huge nerds go there. Fittingly, Jess is a huge nerd. And as her love of the social work field will tell you, she has a huge heart as well.

So why is she berating me in this picture? Well, this is what happens when Jess has some drinky-drinks. Every Vodka/Water she consumes increases her verbal abuse capabilities exponentially. Some might find it to be offputting, but you can see how I feel about it.

Jess is my inspiration for this blog. Allow me to explain.

A number of people find me to be funny. When I'm on my game, I believe I can make people laugh with relative ease. But Jess is different. After being together for so long, she's heard my jokes. She knows my wit. When I say or write something that I think is hilarious, she'll generally roll her eyes and give an exaggerated sigh. I don't even TRY poop jokes around her anymore, as this usually results in her tiny fist punching my huge face.

So, when I pen something that makes her laugh, I know I've written something good. That's why, as I'm writing, I always re-read my work to see if it works for me, then I read it from Jess's perspective. If it passes both tests, it's fit to publish.

Unless it's a poop joke. I don't tell her about those. Hey, back off, man. Every relationship has its secrets. Some people cheat, some people gamble, and some have a secret sex organ. I have poop jokes.