4 Legendary Baseball Players: May 2013

Disclaimer: The Legendary Players series cares next to nothing about fielding prowess, leadership ability, or clubhouse chemistry. It cares only about the guys who are mashing so hard, you'll probably go blind. Oh, and it only factors in the past 7 days of batting statistics.

First Base/DH: Adam Dunn, Chicago White Sox

Mashing? Mashing. Past 6 games: .316 AVG, .500 OBP, .842 SLG, 3 HR, 6 RBI
Projected 162 game season: .316/.500/.842, 81 HR, 162 RBI

when i start adam dunn he strikes out 3 times, and when i sit him, he hits homeruns. fuck this guy.

— Alex Fabian (@afabs33) May 1, 2013

Adam Dunn sucks a fat one

— Tyler Cavazos (@CavazosTyler) April 24, 2013

Know who doesn't care? Adam Dunn. "Oh, boo hoo, Adam Dunn sucks. All he does is mash." Knock it off. I didn't want to tell you this, but Adam Dunn is making $15M this season. That may be hard to comprehend, so let's put it this way: it's $92,590 per game. Does Adam Dunn care about his stats? He does not. 4 strikeouts today? $92K. 3 home runs today? $92K. Hating on Adam Dunn? Learn to mash, son.

Second Base: Omar Infante, Detroit Tigers

lol huh? I'm serious. Past 7 games: .440 AVG, .840 SLG, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 1 SB
Projected 162: .440/.840, 46 HR, 116 RBI, 23 SB

Omar infante better hope I don't see him on the streets #longleggedpissedoffpuertorican twitter.com/TrentWaddell31…

— Trent Waddell (@TrentWaddell31) April 30, 2013

Doesn't he hit 9th? Yes. To be fair, this could be because Jim Leyland doesn't know you can change lineups now. What an age we live in! You know who should be hitting 9th in Detroit? Victor Martinez.

Catcher: Russell Martin, Pittsburgh Pirates

How hard is he mashing? Past 6 games: .346 AVG, .885 SLG, 4 HR, 7 RBI
Projected 162: 108 HR, 189 RBI

Russell Martin 2-Run HR sucks to suck Yankees fans

— Justin Blumish (@TheBlumAndOnly) April 28, 2013

More on the best catcher of all time: Russell Martin is the guy you'd love to bring home to meet your daughter if you weren't so afraid he'd mash her into oblivion. You see that .346 AVG in the last 6 games? You know what else is .346 in that span? His on base percentage. YOU DO NOT WALK RUSSELL MARTIN. HE WILL SWING AT BALL FOUR AS MANY TIMES AS HE WANTS. TRY TO WALK HIM. DO IT.

Outfield: Nate McLouth, Baltimore Orioles

What? Past 6: .522 AVG, .913 SLG, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 11 R, like 80 SBs
Projected 162: .522/.913, 54 HR, 189 RBI, 297 R, like 2,160 SBs
Does he start against lefties? No.
Why not? Look, he killed a lefty in the minor leagues. He doesn't like to talk about it, but JUST KIDDING HE WILL TOTALLY TALK ABOUT IT.

GIFs: Nate McLouth Air Mails A Throw To Third, Then Apologizes dlvr.it/3JkrTY

— BalSportsReport (@BalSportsReport) May 1, 2013

Fun Fact: That GIF doesn't tell the whole story. McLouth apologized for not throwing the ball out of the stadium as he intended.