Monday, October 6, 2008

5 Perplexing College Nicknames

A great college nickname is something a student body can rally around. Some nicknames have become so ingrained in a school's history that the name of the institution itself is no longer necessary. Words like Huskers, Boilers, Irish, and Tide are information enough.

And then there are the other nicknames. I imagine the intentions were pure. Intending to put their obscure school on the map, administrators and students picked a nickname that would really help them stand out. The following schools on this list probably should have gone with Wildcats instead.

Columbia College Claim Jumpers
The above picture was virtually the only image related to this Hollywood, CA school that I could find on Google. The remaining photos shown to me when I typed in "Columbia Claim Jumpers" were of hippies eating at a Claim Jumper establishment. As for the actual definition of 'claim jumper,' Princeton College tells me that a claim jumper is "one who illegally occupies property to which another has a legal claim." America at its finest!

Rhode Island School of Design Nads

Here we have proof that stuffy art students can retain a sense of humor. RISD is known as the Harvard of art schools, which sounds like high praise to me. I find it far more interesting that the Nads(RISD's hockey squad) have fans that get to chant "Go Nads!" at the top of their lungs. The school recently formed a basketball team, the RISD Balls, complete with their own slogan: "When the heat is on, the Balls stick together." I could not possibly make this up.

Webster University Gorloks
This mascot appears to be a hip-looking take on a Wildcat or something, right? There's only one problem. What exactly is a gorlok? Well, according to the school's website, a gorlok is a "mythical creature" that was "designed by Webster staff and students" that is equipped with "the paws of a speeding cheetah, horns of a fierce buffalo, and the face of a dependable Saint Bernard."


Evergreen State Crocodile Penises
Kidding! Evergreen State's mascot is actually the geoduck(pronounced GOO-ee-duck), which is apparently a clam-like creature of the sea. Such an odd choice in a mascot must make for one interesting institution, so I read up a little bit on the Geoducks. If you don't want to read any more than you have to, I'll sum things up with a game of What Does Not Belong? One of these tidbits about Evergreen State is false. It's up to you to decide which one.
  • Evergreen State does not give grades to students, presumably because grades are evil creations of money-grubbing corporations.
  • Michael Richards is a proud alum of Evergreen State.
  • Evergreen State's level of academic challenge ranks in the top 10 percent of the nation.
  • Because marijuana is legal in Washington, students are encouraged to come to class in an "altered state" to encourage outside-the-box thinking.

Which one does not belong? I'll give you a hint by telling you that Michael Richards is indeed a former student at Evergreen State, which leads me to believe that the school is close to changing its nickname to the Evergreen State Psychopathic Racist Nutjobs.

Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils
Watch out! Here come the boll weevils! They feed on cotton and flowers and live for up to 3 weeks! Apparently the southern states have a fondness for the boll weevil that we here in the North have yet to find for the cicada. The town of Enterprise, Alabama built a monument in 1919 that still stands today that's dedicated to...any guesses? Equality? A balanced breakfast? Nope!

1 comment:

  1. You forgot the gamecocks! Katie decided not to attend there because she couldn't imagine being called a gamecock.