Monday, February 16, 2009

Caution: This Blog Post Was Written By a Tech Pariah

Can you believe that a legitimate leprosy medication wasn't fully implemented until the 1990s? This may or may not be true, as the info came straight from Wikipedia. Let's just pretend leprosy was running rampant and killing millions until the 1990s.

Since the destruction of the disease and the subsequent decline of the leper colony, where do outcasts go from here?

Coincidentally, at roughly the same time leprosy was getting its ass rocked, Apple released the iMac. The iMac paved the way for the iPod, which paved the way for the iPhone.

See where I'm going with this?

If not, here's an anecdote for you. I wake up every day and go to work, and my ancient Dell Inspiron laptop and LG enV2 phone are surrounded by MacBooks and iPhones. It's become a daily routine for me to console my heartbroken devices and explain to them that their brothers and sisters are slowly dying, falling prey to the most powerful personal electronics company in the world.

So here I am, devoted to a PC that's so old that it doesn't even run Vista and a phone that's most impressive as a texting tool and, shockingly, a phone. It's not a web browser, game player, or song identifier. It's just a phone.

I am the Apple avoider. I am the tech pariah.

Yes, I have an iPod. So does my grandmother.

I didn't intentionally avoid Apple. I didn't have a bad experience with a product and decide to boycott as a result. I just never needed a more expensive and less powerful personal computer. But the iPhone is different. It cannot be stopped. Either get on board or take up residence in the 21st-century leper colony with the other enV's, and yes, even the Blackberries.

When iPhone owners spy my cell phone, they look at me with exactly the same facial expression a Starbucks barista gives a patron who comes in and orders a medium hot chocolate. It's a look of patient annoyance. To them, I'm like the first grader whose enthusiastic coloring extends well beyond the pre-determined borders.

Give him time, they say. He'll figure it out.

I'll text you if I do.

1 comment:

  1. From one whose cell phone (Motorola RAZR) was recently said to have been bought at an antique store, I am even farther behind the times than you are.

    I don't have an I-Pod. My Dell Inspiron (hocked from a previous job,) weighs so much I need a gurney to move it.