Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You're Going To See This Movie Because You're An Idiot

Note: I went to a double feature over the weekend (and only paid for 1 ticket, I'm so badass). I saw The Hurt Locker and 500 Days of Summer. Two very different movies, and two of the best that I've seen in a while. But while I was there I saw a preview for The Time Traveler's Wife before each film. Coincidentally, I vomited twice. In my haste to clean myself up, I ran into the women's bathroom and overheard this conversation.

"OMFG Brooke, did you see that preview for The Time Traveler's Wife?"

"I totally did, Michelle! It's gonna be like, the best movie ever!"

"I know! It's like The Notebook but with time travel lol!"

"It totally is! U R so right! It even has that same girl from The Notebook! I forget her name. Rachel McSomething lol!"

"Yeah that's her. I wish my face could be as pretty as hers."

"What? Are you cereal? Your face is TOTALLY pretty! It's WAY prettier than mine."

"OMG shut up! You are so much prettier than me!"

"No, you're prettier!"

"You are!"



"What were we talking about again?"

"The Time Traveler's Noteb...I mean the Time Travler's Wife!"

"OMG were you gonna say The Time Traveler's Notebook? lolz!"

"I totally was! lol I'm so dumb. Good thing I've got these boobs!"

"lolz lolz!"

"OMG Brooke. OMG. Did you see how hot the guy is in Time Traveler's Wife?"

"OMG Michelle I did. He is so hot. I mean, like, he's not as hot as Ryan Gosling but OMG yeah he's so hot. What's his name again?"

"I dunno, I just know he was The Hulk lol!"

"lol ur so funny!"

"OMG if she like, dies at the end I am totally gonna cry."

"OMG totally! Bring the kleenex lol! It's gonna be a moist one!"

"OMG Brooke ewwwwww!!! Did you just say moist! Ewwwwww!!!!!"

"OMG OMG I totally did! lol ewwwwwww!!!"

Seriously, what is going on in this train wreck of a movie? Eric Bana visits Rachel McAdams as a little girl? Is this guy a pedophile or what? When he disappears, what's that red thing he's wearing? A towel? WTF? No wonder McAdams can't let go of him, he voilated her when she was little.

If you see this movie, you endorse pedophilia.

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