Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Why District 9 Will Kick All Kinds of Ass

District 9 has a simple premise: Aliens are living as refugees in South Africa. Produced by Peter Jackson, it looks completely and utterly badass. This notion has been reinforced by film critics, who have praised the film at a 96% clip on RT thus far. Of the 26 reviews currently archived, 25 are positive.

Guess who's submitted the lone negative review thus far.

Poor, misguided Armond White. So predictable. Once again, RTers were commenting that District 9's 100% wouldn't last because White hadn't submitted his review yet. But lo and behold, his review is in, which you can read here. (Finish whatever food you may be eating first; his arguments are a choking hazard)

Rotten Tomatoes Consensus: Technically brilliant and socially poignant, District 9 has action, imagination, and all the elements of a thoroughly entertaining science-fiction classic.

Armond White: District 9 represents the sloppiest and dopiest pop cinema -- the kind that comes from a second-rate film culture.

The guy who loves Michael Bay is calling District 9 pop cinema. The amount of hypocrisy here is downright laughable.

I've never been a paid film critic, but I'm fairly certain it's an important part of the job to go into each movie with an open mind, regardless of what may have been heard about it or how a critic might personally feel about the subject matter.

This is what pisses people off (myself included) about White the most. Before he sees a film, he knows what kind of review he's going to give it. First off, District 9 is produced by "intellectually juvenile New Zealander" Peter Jackson. Strike 1.

"This cheap, darkhumored pass at empathy disgraces any greater cinematic potential." Strike 2.

"District 9 confirms that few media makers know how to perceive history, race and class relations." Strike 3!

White isn't a dummy, as I've stated earlier. He definitely knew Jackson produced District 9, and I'd wager he knew the film's basic premise as well. He knew before the film even started that he was going to trash it, and he was licking his chops.

Oh, I'm sorry Armond! I wasn't aware District 9 was a movie fit for a Social Studies class! I was under the impression it was a work of fiction. And no, the film's producer is not black, so his "pass at empathy" sure is pathetic, huh? My favorite part is when you flat-out called Peter Jackson a racist, suggesting his effort "suggests some lingering Afrikaans’ fear or, possibly, how Jackson really thinks about the Maori and Aborigines. "

What the shit are you talking about, Armond?

You see, people-I've discovered something about Armond White. He's a bigoted, stubborn racist. For the first clue, just check out his positive and negative reviews.

But the major clue to White's racist tendencies comes in the ease with which he cries "RACISM!" when it's not even present at all. Much like the cheating husband who is jealous and accusatory toward his wife or the moron who laughs the loudest because he doesn't get the joke, White plays the race card in an effort to subdue his own prejudices. It's not working, Armond. You're a flat-out racist.

Most moviegoers are idiots. They want to see shit blow up before being taught a lesson every single time. What Jackson and other astute filmmakers have figured out is that you can draw parallels to actual events (while blowing shit up) that pretty much everyone can absorb.

All Jackson and Neill Blomkamp (District 9's director) tried to do is to show us that intolerance doesn't pay. And you threw it back in their faces, Armond. Well done.

When my wife is in labor, I'll shout encouragement to get her through it. Do I understand her pain? Absolutely not. And as I encourage her, will she interrupt me, call me a sexist prick, and make me leave the room? Only if she's a stubborn, bigoted and close-minded nutjob.

Evaluate your life, Armond. Nobody likes a racist.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo, the nail was hit on the head in that review. District 9 was a great movie.