Carlos Marmol Trade Watch: Opening Day and All is Lost

I play fantasy baseball. It sucks. I have Carlos Marmol on my team. He sucks. Dan Bardin has Kyuji Fujikawa on his team. He's okay. This is the ongoing saga of a surely futile endeavor to make a trade happen.

April 1, 2013. The Chicago Cubs recently secured an Opening Day victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates. The final score was 3-1. Anthony Rizzo did great things. The Cubs are undefeated. But it doesn't matter because CARLOS MARMOL IS RUINING MY LIFE A THIRD OF AN INNING AT A TIME.

He started the 9th and tried to lock up the save. LOL at that. I wasn't watching because MLB TV blacks out local games (classy!), but I assume he was throwing left handed in an effort to lower his trade value even further. He got one man out, allowed one run across, and left two on base when he departed.

Kyuji Fujikawa got the save instead. Of course he did. Dan Bardin: let's make a deal.

DAN BARDIN: ACCEPT THIS TRADE PROPOSAL. HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?