Monday, March 9, 2009

American Broadcasting Counterfeiters

DVR is wonderful for many reasons, but my favorite thing about it is the ability it gives you to fast forward commercials. I find my sanity is at a much more manageable level when I can zoom right past Safe Auto ads and any commercial involving Billy Mays or the Shamwow guy.

But even with my DVR and its beautiful time-advancing capabilities, I've managed to find myself overwhelmed with a new show premiering tonight on ABC. It's called Castle. The trailer is below. Don't watch it.

To be fair, I've found that trailers for soon-to-premiere TV shows never quite capture the correct tone. For example, I remember thinking "I'm never going to watch that trash" when trailers for House started and all I saw was Hugh Laurie screaming "YOU'RE RISKING A PATIENT'S LIFE!" Then I find out years later that Dr. House is not really that caring and it's one of the best shows currently on TV. 

So why do TV trailers blow? I have no idea. But that's not what this post is about.

Castle is essentially Bones with gender reversals. In ABC's new show, the male lead is a mystery author who gets teamed up with a hardcore detective, played by the female lead.

In Bones, the female lead is a mystery author(and scientist) who gets teamed up with a hardcore detective, played by the male lead. Way to be original, ABC!

Luckily, I won't have to be depressed by trailers for Castle for more than a few harmless episodes, thanks to two words: Nathan Fillion.

Nathan Fillion Pictures, Images and Photos
"Hi Grandma. Not so good, it got cancelled. Yes, again. Hey, shut up, Grandma!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Fillion. He's got a bit of charisma and silver screen success to be proud of. He was great in Serenity, a better sci-fi flick than the last 3 Star Wars films combined. He was good in Slither, and he wasn't terrible in Waitress either. I'm not exactly sure why, but he's more successful in films than he is on television. All I know is if you're making a new TV show, do not, under any circumstances, cast Nathan Fillion.

Firefly? Great television. Cancelled before the conclusion of its first season. In fact, Serenity was the theatrical continuation of this show.

Miss Match? Cancelled after 18 episodes. Never saw it, but I'm guessing Alicia Silverstone helped kill it. Let's check IMDB...aaaand...she did indeed kill it. 

Drive? Woof.

Castle? TBD

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Castle doesn't make it past 15 episodes. ABC isn't staking too much on it to begin with. It's mid-season replacement for a show that recently got the axe, probably Dirty Sexy Money. I can't believe that one didn't work out. I mean, it had Billy Baldwin! What more do you need?

All I know is that I'll do my part to help get Castle cancelled. I happen to like Bones and the rapport the two leads have created. Shame on ABC for ripping off a proven winner in order to line their pockets. I swear on this blog that I'll never watch an episode.

Unless, of course, it turns out to be a great show. Then I'm in. 


  1. I'm proud of how low my awareness of certain pop culture people, events, and commercials has dropped since I stopped watching live TV, but sometimes (rarely) I kind of miss being in the loop.

    However, I did still somehow know about this show. Kind of unnerving... where are they getting to me?

    And don't forget about "Two Guys and a Girl" (originally "...and a Pizza Place")-- that was probably his first show and it did well enough for awhile.

  2. I don't usually do this, but after thousands of nonsense CAPTCHA, that last one gave me STAIN, almost accustorily, and now it's "FALIC" which just means that the magical spirit trying to communicate mysteriously with me spells phonetically.

  3. I love literalDan! I think there is definitely a spirit alive & well choosing our nonsense words to communicate back to it/him/her.

    Mine is rednesto - I think because I've spent the evening crying (RED eyes) about the impending disembarcation (word?) of our last child (NESTO.) I know, a reach.

    And, I don't know anything about Castle, and probably will never watch it, but the trailer leads us to believe that the two leads have an enormous cute factor & tons of cheeky chemistry. And, the female lead is the strong/dominant type. What's not to like?

    I also refuse to watch the new Amy Pollen vehicle, something about being a tree-hugger in Indiana? looks painful.

  4. Amy Pollen = Amy Poehler? Her new show on NBC? If so, it looks like it's trying to be The Office II. Hopefully it separates itself and creates its own identity.

    And great call on Two Guys and a Girl, Dan. I'm in the "Ryan Reynolds is Underrated" boat and I enjoyed that show, but I completely forgot Fillion was in it. Maybe there's hope for Castle.

    I still think there's not. Either they need to fire the guys that created that montage or the show has some eye-rolling dialogue.

    Spell check is telling me that dialogue is spelled incorrectly (it says it should be dialog) but I think it can go either way. Stupid Google.

  5. too bad spell check didn't flag Amy's correct last name

  6. How about canceled? Or do you spell cancelled?

    I think one "l" is more correct, but so many times this word has gone misspelled that the second "l" is now also considered correct.

    English - gotta love it.