Friday, May 8, 2009

My Fantasy Baseball Team Is Better Than Your Fantasy Baseball Team, Part II

If you want to read Part I, either scroll down a bit or click here

As promised, today I'll be going over my pitching squadron for The Peter Moylans, quite possibly the greatest fantasy baseball team ever assembled in a 10-team Rotisserie league. And as I said yesterday, my pitchers have reigned in 66 of a possible 70 points, compared to my offensive lineup, which has pulled in 70 of a possible 70. In a nutshell, my pitchers should be ashamed of themselves and use their guilt as motivation to perform a little bit better.

In all seriousness, if one were to examine my team before the season started, he would say that my lineup is built incredibly well and my pitching is lacking. It's true. My arms have been unconscious so far, and it could very well be a fluke. Between the pitchers and the hitters, I would have to guess that my pitchers are the ones who will experience a letdown as the season progresses. There are a lot of unproven guys doing the hurling for me.

But still, of the seven pitching categories, they're 3rd in Saves(8 points), 2nd in Losses and Strikeouts(9 points each), and 1st in Wins, ERA, WHIP, and Quality Starts(10 points each). Not too shabby. It won't last, but still, not too shabby.

Here's the rundown of my mound-dwelling fireballers. And by the way, I've projected the stats based on the numbers so far. Some of them are downright ridiculous, and there's no way they'll reach their projected season. It's just a way to illustrate how well they've played thus far.

Starting Pitcher: Zack Greinke I recently experienced the indescribable joy of watching this 25-year-old emerging superstar mow down the White Sox like they were Little Leaguers. The Sox might as well have stepped up to the plate with meter sticks. Greinke's stuff is that good. Fastball consistently in the low 90s, and can reach well into the mid 90s when he's feeling motivated. Pinpoint get-me-over curveball and a devastating slider, his best and most effective strikeout pitch. On pace for 33-0 record, 0.40 ERA, 302 strikeouts, 0.84 WHIP, 28 quality starts. Greinke's Rank: 1
Starting Pitcher: Chad Billingsley Will likely experience a slight decline with the news that Manny Ramirez tested positive for a banned substance and will miss 50 games. Going from Manny to Juan Pierre could stall the Dodgers' offense a tad. Still, Billingsley is another emerging superstar(about to turn 25 years old) with killer stuff. On pace for 27-0 record, 2.21 ERA, 227 strikeouts, 1.03 WHIP, 32 quality starts. Billingsley's Rank: 18
Starting Pitcher: Johnny Cueto Just 23 years old. He faded considerably as the season progressed last year. Another solid start in 2009. He's a year older, a year stronger, and a year more mature, so we'll see if Cueto finishes differently this time around. On pace for 12-6 record, 1.65 ERA, 168 strikeouts, 1.04 WHIP, 17 quality starts. Cueto's Rank: 55
Starting Pitcher: Matt Garza Convincingly outperforming the other Tampa Bay SP on my roster, whom we'll get to later. Another 25-year-old with plenty of life in his arm. On pace for 16-11 record, 3.51 ERA, 194 strikeouts, 1.00 WHIP, 21 quality starts. Garza's Rank: 83
Starting Pitcher: Jair Jurrjens Doesn't strike out anybody, but definitely worth having on the squad for his ERA and WHIP numbers. On pace for 17-11 record, 2.01 ERA, 116 strikeouts, 1.19 WHIP, 23 quality starts. Jurrjens's Rank: 104
Starting Pitcher: Kyle Lohse This is the one guy that I've felt severely overachieved in his first month. Just a few hours ago I was able to deal him for Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina. Buy low, sell high. My buddy who just took Lohse off my hands is too cool to read my blog, so he'll never know that I just suckered him. He'll simply wonder "Why isn't Lohse winning games for me? Damn this luck of mine!" The thought makes me happier than Dan Bardin with a box of Entenmann's. Regardless, here are Lohse's projected numbers. On pace for 17-6 record, 3.22 ERA, 128 strikeouts, 1.16 WHIP, 17 quality starts. Lohse's Rank: 156
Starting Pitcher: Scott Kazmir Bottoming out my starting pitchers is a guy that'd better remember how to throw pretty quickly or I will be pooping myself with rage. I'm assuming he'll right himself eventually, but I'm running out of patience. The irony here is that before the season began I'd have said Kazmir would be my consistent, veteran presencehas been far and away the most inconsistent starter on my team. Figure it out, Kaz. Or I'll be mailing you my aforementioned poo poo platter. On pace for 16-16 record, 6.00 ERA, 151 strikeouts, 1.58 WHIP, 16 quality starts. Kazmir's rank: 869
Relief Pitcher: Scott Downs 11.7 Ks per 9 innings of work. Don't know this guy yet? You will. Toronto's winning ball games in bunches and there are saves to collect, and BJ Ryan wants nothing to do with the closer's role. Enter Scott Downs. He's technically the closer while Ryan recuperates, but I have a feeling that Downs has a good shot to be the full time door-shutter even with Ryan healthy. On pace for 16 saves, 0.59 ERA, 105 strikeouts, 0.52 WHIP. Downs's Rank: 38
Relief Pitcher: Joakim Soria Just plain filthy. On pace for 39 saves, 2.08 ERA, 56 strikeouts, 1.38 WHIP. Soria's Rank: 92
Relief Pitcher: Brandon Morrow Haven't seen his stuff, not sure if he's a legitimate closer or if the Mariners simply have no one else. Currently on the disabled list. On pace for 28 saves, 4.05 ERA, 47 strikeouts, 1.35 WHIP. Morrow's Rank: 488
Relief Pitcher: Matt Lindstrom Scares me more than anyone else on my entire team. Let's hope he has a blistering month of May so I can trade him for someone more reliable. On pace for 28 saves, 6.55 ERA, 34 strikeouts, 1.73 WHIP. Lindstrom's Rank: 574

There we have it. The greatest fantasy baseball team ever assembled in a 10-team Rotisserie league. I know this post bored you. I care not. Until next time, and as always, my fantasy baseball team is better than your fantasy baseball team.

1 comment:

  1. no offense to the team you have assembled nor your fantasy baseball acumen, but to coast with such thorough dominance tends to indicate severe ineptitude by the baseball hacks that you have wisely chosen to participate against. praise be for their a+ effort, too bad they have the fantasy sports aptitude of a babbling infant.