Note from the Luke: This post was written by Dan in response to the surprising passion of One Tree Hill fans in the comments section of "10 Awesome One Tree Hill Quotes," which you can read here.
Stop. Stop right now. You over there, no....NO. Put down the remote control.
Of all the content that has passed through this page, I can't believe One Tree Hill is the one that has lit up our comment board (seven comments being "lit up," but I digress). After reviewing the brilliance and simple lack of experience that attacked our comment board, I'd like to say something.
One Tree Hill sucks. Alright? It's bad. Not good, bad.
It's not bad because it's built for a demographic out of my preferences, or because I'm still walking scarred from my high school days, but because IT IS A BAD SHOW. I can honestly say I'm proud I've never watched 15 minutes of the show. I don't want to and I never will. Why? BECAUSE THE SHOW, AGAIN, IS BAD.
Why would I call it a bad show? I don't, everyone else who watches television does. It has never been rated higher than 117 in the Nielsen popularity ratings for an entire season. 1-freaking-17.
See, shows like CSI, Monday Night Football, etc., will usually have two or three entries on a weekly list when you go by an individual episode, but when using the entire season's average, you have a much more reliable data set.
So, back to my point, 117 was its peak in the second season. Season 5 hit 184 and season 6 sky-rocketed to 170.
Can anyone reading this right now name me 169 other TV programs? ANYONE? No, no you can't. So, it's not popular, we got that covered. "But all my friends watch it, what does that tell you Mr. Smarty-pants?"
You know what it tells me? GET NEW FRIENDS.
While two million lost souls may tune in weekly to find out who got knocked up or whatever the hell goes on in a hill with one tree, lots and lots of more (intelligent) people were busy doing something more entertaining. Like staring at a wall. Or folding towels.
For those of you who are emotionally attached to the characters in a show because they are totally going through the same thing you are, remember these following facts:
- THEY ARE F*CKING ACTORS
- The show is likely written by 40 year-old Harvard and Yale English graduates, not high-school kids.
- Nobody in your high school has an abusive dad, who shot your best friend's dad, just to marry his wife and end up knocking up his step-daughter who may or may not be an Middle Eastern terrorist sponsor.
Okay? Step away from the ledge and understand that if you live life correctly, the person you are at 16, 17, 18 will barely resemble the person you are at 25.
If you don't agree with me, your comment privileges are revoked and flame away. Eat me, I'm going to read a book to recover what I lost just researching this show.