The first and last people to the left are currently aware that Glee, the wildly popular TV show on Fox (about a glee club, cover songs of horribly overrated hits and unwanted pregnancies) is being bumped until the 2nd week of November because of "stupid baseball." The 2nd and 3rd Twitter profiles are blissfully unaware their precious show has been shoved to make room for The Captain and his pinstriped cohorts. Right about now they've undoubtedly received an "omg grl glee isnt on 2nite :(" tweet from their bestest, and they're now joining other emos across the nation in mourning.
These poor, misguided souls. They have yet to discover the joy of watching a November baseball game in sub-zero weather in which the remaining two teams battle for 5 hours and combine for 3 total runs. They haven't experienced the joy of seeing A-Rod's crotch bulge (which may or may not be his cup), the complete inanity of Tim McCarver and the moral superiority of Joe Buck.
It's obvious these juveniles have never picked up a ball outside of mandatory gym class, which they were forced to do by manlier-than-your-WWII-veteran-grandfather P.E. teacher, who, despite all evidence to the contrary, constantly claimed to have been born a woman.
Go get some sun, you vampires! New Moon is going to blow just as much as Twilight did! No one denies this! Can you even come up with...
I mean, can you even explain to me the intricacies of a dropped 3rd strike and the effect it may have on...
I can't do this.
Why, Fox? Why? WHY WOULD YOU BUMP GLEE FOR THAT HERPES-INFESTED SHORTSTOP, DEREK JETER? HE IS NOT EVEN HALF THE MAN MR. SCHUE IS!
/sobs uncontrollably
JETER TOTALLY HAS HERPES, SHITHEADS! HE GAVE IT TO JESSICA ALBA! GOOGLE IT!
/does weird convulsive breathing thing that happens when you're breathing in while recovering from a sobbing fit. don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about.
LIKING GLEE DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY, OKAY DAD? THERE'S THAT ONE GUY IN IT WHO IS TOTALLY ABLE TO JUGGLE BEING QUARTERBACK OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM WHILE STILL MAINTAINING HIS DEDICATION TO GLEE!!1
/farts, smells it
AND OMG YOU GUYS, MR. SCHUE'S WIFE IS SUCH A BITCH! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE HIM AT ALL, HE'S SUCH A GOOD DANCER AND SINGER AND I CAN TELL HE TOTALLY HAS AMAZING ABS.
Okay, I think I've calmed down. But for realz, why are we being subjected to a baseball game in 30 degree weather? Is this how the game is meant to be played, let alone the most important series of the entire season? No. No it is not.
JOURNEY BREAK!
Overrated? Don't Stop Believin' is overrated? You, sir, are overrated and I will gladly poop in your Chipotle burrito and call the concoction a pinto/black beans hybrid. And you will eat it, just like you'll eat the shit show that will be taking place at Yankee Stadium and Citizens Bank Park over the next two weeks. Because you don't know when you're being fed a giant poop burrito if you're actually excited for men swinging lumber over hot guys singing and dancing all over the place.
How dare you talk about Glee like that, Duke Blaser. Not to mention Twilight. Whoever the hell wrote Twilight makes Dostoevsky look like a joke. Who needs classic characters when you've got vampires. Steve Perry can suck on my balls from the grave...oh he's not dead? Oh that's right he got replaced by a wierd looking Asian / burn victim. CAAAAAW
How dare you talk about Glee like that, Duke Blaser. Not to mention Twilight. Whoever the hell wrote Twilight makes Dostoevsky look like a joke. Who needs classic characters when you've got vampires. Steve Perry can suck on my balls from the grave...oh he's not dead? Oh that's right he got replaced by a wierd looking Asian / burn victim. CAAAAAW
ReplyDeleteI died when I saw those twitter posts!! hahaha i love how the result of no glee automatically leads to hours of homework! come on! get out kids!
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