I just got a personal letter from one Baron Boronski (possibly pictured at right), who happens to be letting me in on the ground floor of a very special project. Below is what the Baron sent to me. Prepare to be jealous.
From: Baron Boronkski (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Subject: A proposal which will benefit both of us
Importance level: !!
"PLEASE CONTACT ME ON email@example.com
I am Baron Boronski .I have a legitimate business proposal for
you.Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details.
Needless to say, I sent the Baron five emails in 20-minute increments to let him know I was interested in his business proposal. For those of you who are worried that 1) His use of punctuation is rather odd, 2) His email address is not an AOL one, but a very spammy looking one, and 3) He doesn't actually say what his business proposal is, well, you simpletons just don't know how these things work.
The guy's name is Baron Boronski, folks. BARON. BORONSKI. Can a name GET any more badass? With a name like that, it doesn't matter what business he's got in mind. The product sells itself! I'm ready to invest in anything, whether it's a shitty frozen pizza company or a puzzlingly obsolete fighter pilot academy whose students are trained to shoot down WWI flying aces and/or sassy beagles.
The baron obviously needs my help, or he wouldn't have flagged the email with a double-exclamation mark importance level. Sometimes those of us with servants' hearts are rewarded. Oftentimes it's intangible rewards, but rarely the reward can come in the form of monetary compensation.
Once I'm independently wealthy I'll reward the rest of you who have servants' hearts by making you my maids and butlers. THANK YOU, BARON BORONSKI!