Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A Review of The House of Yes, the weirdest movie ever


Background info:

The Jess had to watch this film for a class, so we Netflixed it a few days ago. I asked her what House of Yes was about and she responded "incest."

Oh, awesome!

Brief plot summary (contains spoilers, F you):

Parker Posey plays a character named Jackie-O, a mentally unstable east coast aristocrat with serious daddy issues. Dad left the family early (or perhaps he was murdered, who really knows) so she looked to her twin brother, Marty (played by Josh Hamilton before he turned to drugs and steroids), to fill the holes. So to speak.

The two started messing around as teenagers and when it ended, it put Jackie-O into a mental institution of some kind. I think. I'm not really sure, I was eating dinner at this point.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving, and Marty brings his fiance, Lesly (played by Tori Spelling), to meet the family.

Then Jackie-O has sex with Marty again. Lesly retaliates by getting with Freddie Prinze, Jr. Then Jackie-O shoots Marty in the face to keep him from leaving with Lesly. Movie over.

Okay, so I skipped some details. Sue me.



The Good:
  • Posey dominated this role. I got the sense that she could explode beyond repair at any time. Her presence demanded attention.
  • It was 85 minutes long, shorter than the 2-hour Lost premieres and finales.
The Bad:
  • I felt sorry for Tori Spelling. It was a confusing emotion for me, and one I hope to never experience again.
  • Freddie Prinze, Jr. 
The WTF:
  • The twins' love scene was put into motion because they reenacted the JFK assassination as foreplay. Marty waved to a fake crowd before being shot by Jackie-O (there were blanks in the gun). Jackie-O then ran to Marty and pretended to prevent his brain from spilling out of his head. And then they got to the incest. It was definitely not not horribly awkward to watch.
  • Marty was murdered because Jackie-O wanted to reenact the JFK assassination one more time before he left. It's worth noting that she was completely deranged at this point, obviously too crazy to be trusted with a gun. But he agreed to reenact it once more instead of punching her in the face and taking the gun away. Then his head exploded and Tori Spelling ran away. 
The Verdict: 

House of Yes was an all-around half-star movie that was given a couple extra thanks to Posey's performance. 2 and a half stars and at least 5 WTFs. See it if you love Parker Posey or, like George Michael Bluth, you think incest is super duper and something to be explored. Otherwise, don't do it.

2 comments:

  1. just watched two clips form it. tori spelling is one of the strangest looking people on the planet, and posey scared the life out of me.

    "you dont think im insane?"

    ummmmmm

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  2. You've hit on a new method of evaluating movies: the WTF.

    This movie got 5 WTFs.

    One of my favorite (albiet sappy,)WTF movies is Kate & Leopold, classic Rom-Com Time Travel...

    WTF#1: Girl meets boy from 19th century, goes back in time to marry him and then becomes her former fiance's great-great grandmother??? WTF??

    WTF#2: Boy sings/plays Pirates of Pensance score which he knows like an original cast member, even though the show just opened on Broadway in the late 19th century?? WTF??

    WTF#3: Boy invents elevator named after his butler (Otis) which then begins to break down in modern times because he's spending too much time hanging around in said modern times?? WTF??

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