Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My Experience With Brooke Knows Best

My God. This is what happens when parental influences flush themselves down the pooper via a divorce and an immature blonde goes out on her own in Miami. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In this episode, which I'll call "Party City" because that's all Brooke seems to be able to say, a house warming party is being planned.

This show is so effing scripted. First, Brooke spies a kite surfer on the ocean and walks over to him with cameras all up in her face. Nice, Brooke. Very discrete. Then the d-bag surfer says "don't I know you from somewhere?" Excellent inquiry, Freud. Brooke proceeds to invite him to a party. Things are good in Brookville! Nothing can possibly go wrong.


Brooke's, ex, whose name sounds a lot like "Stacks," is showing up to the party too! No! Things will surely collide! Well, I'm officially sucked in. Can't change the channel now.

On a side note, Brooke's straight friend Ashley and gay friend Glenn tried to get her to somehow uninvite either Damien (the surfer) or Stacks (the ex with a really cool name). That'd make sense, right? Well, yeah, but then there wouldn't be drama, you guys! I mean, come on!

Party time!!! Damien is at the party. So is Stacks. Drama! Brooke notices Stacks is checking Ashley out, and her heart "breaks into a million pieces." Sadness abounds. She approaches Ashley to intelligently talk through the issue.

"I noticed, like, Stacks was totally looking you up and down and he is like, totally into you."

Eloquent. Brooke then shuts herself in a bedroom, calls Gay Glenn, and makes him tell her "Why are you letting a boy ruin your fun? Cereal!" I'm pretty sure gay people sometimes sub the word cereal for the word seriously.

Stacks just called Damien Goldilocks behind his back. Sweet.

Brooke's place is getting trashed. Security has been summoned. The party is over. It's down to Brooke, Damien, Glenn, and Ashely. Damien is leaving. He says goodbye.


"Earth to Damien!" says Glenn. lol @ Glenn

Yayy, Damien just came back, got on his tiptoes, and kissed Brooke. Tragedy averted. This show is awful. And in case my description of this program somehow made you want to watch the show, here you go.

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