Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This Is My Life

This is a typical morning at work.

This is a typical afternoon at work.

And It's All Because of This Video

I must have missed something, because most people are convinced this is hilarious. To the creator of this video: thank you for unleashing this slice of madness on my comfy little life. I can only hope justice and irony collaborate in the near future to drive you to insanity and eventually suicide because of the phrase "Hey Apple!"

I'm not being entirely serious, though. I don't wish death upon you; that's downright cruel. However, someone repeatedly kicking you in the balls and rendering you impotent while maniacally screaming HEY APPLE! is something I can definitely get on board with. For the love of humanity, do not reproduce.

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  1. Harry Richard Carlson III

    Dear America,
    Is this what we find funny now? I remember when a kid hitting a whiffle ball into his dad's gonads was the funniest thing around. This is of an even lower caliber. And who the hell is that Ashley broad. I would have paid the one girl I know to beat her senseless. Lay off the crack pipe and take it easy on your keyboard babe. Facebook, as well as rock, should be used in moderation.

  2. Dear Probable Terrorist With Anti-American Sentiment,

    You are def gay. Judging by what you consider funny, I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say you used to beat it to Bob Sagat on a fairly regular basis. In other news, the one girl you know is your mom and she's too busy blowing Verne Troyer to beat anyone up. Why don't you lay off the lube and back away from the keyboard before you hurt yourself, Harry Ballz III.

    Stfu, son!


  3. Harry "Dick" Carlson III

    Dear "Ace" / Ashley
    I have dumps that are more patriotic than you. Just yesterday I heard a corn kernel in my turd sing God Bless America. Do myself and the entire world a favor and jump off a bridge. And yes...I have every episode of America's Funniest Home Videos on VHS. I like to dress up like an adult baby and watch them while wearing nipple clamps. You leave my mom OUTTA THIS! BTC is a SAINT! In closing, "You are def gay." Wow...really? You woke up at 8 something in the A.M. to hurl that at me? Ya see...the lube actually helps, so my dork doesn't look like Rihanna's face after Chris Brown was done with her. Your a VA GIN A.